With a Predator next door, I wasn't as careful as I should have been. I had some friends over to have some tea from a set that was over 60 years old. Made in Japan and painted in blue, green, yellow and orange, with a gold background and overall shiny luster. We sat outside, talked and then they left. I went on inside my house and forgot the tea set outside.

Later I came out and found to my shock, the teapot was on the ground broken. "A bird must have landed on the pot and knocked it over," I thought. But as I slowly pieced it together, I saw that there was another reason for its broken state. At the very center of the breaks was a round hole. Inside the pot was a rifle pellet.

It was my neighbor again. He had found the one place in the fence where he could see our place and sitting right there was the teapot. My nine-piece set was ruined because he had found yet another way to harass me.

Personality Disorder Test

Don't take this too seriously, but when I took this test, the conclusions were pretty close to my personality - with a few mild surprises.

Click on the Surprised Test-Taker on the right...

The Predator's Shooting Blind

We have lots of trees around our place and Predator enjoyed making it a game. Either Karl or I would go outside to work - I would work in my wholesale plant nursery - and within 15 minutes, Predator would be outside. He might pretend to work for awhile, but eventually he would pick up his pellet rifle and shoot onto our place from behind one of three blinds he had set up right next to the fence. This was his favorite blind. This was not his biggest rifle. He shot that one late at night or early in the morning. A rifle big enough to kill a deer. Another mode of intimidation and backing up his threat of "when I take you out, I'll use a bigger rifle."

Depression

It can hit slow or fast and comes out of nowhere. I still have bouts of depression, but they are not as deep as they were before I started taking Effexor. When I took Wellbutrin, I was barely okay, but my problem with that was my anger. I was like a walking bomb. Almost anything could set me off and I would go angry-blind. It was truly horrible for my husband. He could do nothing but watch and stand back. Touching me made me worse. So I finally switched to Effexor.

Over the past 4 years, I have found that I feel better than the first year I took it. Several of my major fears are much smaller. I had a horrible fear of heights, bordering on vertigo at times. But now I can climb a ladder up two stories, not without caution, but without that intense fear.

I wish I did not have to take anything at all, but if I have to until my dying day, I will. Without the antidepressant, I am depressed, I look terrible, I don't take care of myself, I dress like a slob. No thanks. Not anymore.

Where would I be now if I had not started taking an antidepressant? Dead. Long ago I would have taken my own life while in a hell-deep depression. I would have missed a lot of good things, plus I would have made the Predator very happy and I do not want to make him happy. I'm stickin' around as long as the body is able.

Courage

Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace.
The soul that knows it not Knows no release from little things:
Knows not the livid loneliness of fear,
Nor mountain heights where bitter joy can hear
The sound of wings.

How can life grant us boon of living, compensate
For dull gray ugliness and pregnant hate
Unless we dare
The soul's dominion?

Each time we make a choice, we pay
With courage to behold the resistless day,
And count it fair.

Amelia Earhart

Keep a Journal

If you should encounter a bully who seems to have zeroed in on you, keep a journal. If you don't like to write, get over it. A journal can help eventually, especially if you have other documents, audio or video recordings to back up your writings. When I asked a supportive Deputy D.A. if there was any more we could do, he said we had done everything perfectly. We kept the daily journal, until I was well beyond being sick of it. We videotaped and audiotaped. AND, if you can keep all of that secret from your bully, you will be much better off. As soon as you reveal that you are keeping record, your bully may back off - for awhile - and then will switch to new tactics that you cannot catch on tape. These predators are very experienced. Rare is the person who can out maneuver a predator.

Moral Courage

Few people have the integrity and moral courage to stand up against bullying and harassment. A person targetted by a Predator is quickly abandoned by their friends and colleagues. These same people frequently take one step further by alienating the Target even more by backing the Predator. Even though they may know the Predator is wrong, they fear being the one singled out and work to keep the Predator's gaze upon the Target. A scene of great moral courage and self-serving cowardice.